


Standard PWP Scenario #43

by Merci



Category: Venture Bros
Genre: Anal Sex, Elevator Sex, Explicit Language, Fourth Wall, Humour, M/M, Male Homosexuality, Parody, Plot What Plot, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-01-04
Updated: 2009-01-04
Packaged: 2017-10-16 20:25:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/169005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Merci/pseuds/Merci
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dr. Venture is sick of the Monarch bothering him. However, a trip to the Monarch’s lair gets him stuck in an elevator with his nemesis, and then the gods of porn enforce their power…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Standard PWP Scenario #43

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Lady Raion (midnight_writer)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/midnight_writer/gifts).



> **Disclaimer:** I do not own Dr. Venture, the Monarch, Dr. Girlfriend, or the Venture Bros. I am making no profit from this fanfiction.
> 
> This was written for Lady_Raion for a Christmas gift fic.  She had asked for the Venture Bros. (after a discussion in which we fangirled over the idea of Dr. Venture and the Monarch together).  The line “hit in the face with men” is lifted directly from the show (I forget which episode) and is the line that first made me think they’d be awesome together.

The Monarch sat happily on his throne overlooking his henchmen and Dr. Girlfriend, all plotting with him to overthrow his hated nemesis, Dr. Venture.

“Dr. Girlfriend, is the Trojan horse ready?” he asked the dark haired woman with a sneer.  “The last Trojan horse failed to catch the doctor’s attention, but this time IT CANNOT FAIL!  When he opens this one he’ll get a face full of men.  MY MEN!”

“Sure, hon, whatever you say.”  Dr. Girlfriend hit a few buttons on her console and then turned to her boss.  “The plan is in motion, the men should be there soon.”

“Excellent, then all we have to do is wait for our loyal henchmen to bring Dr. Venture back!”  The two super villains sat there for a moment, Dr. Girlfriend sighed occasionally and looked at her fingernails.

Moments later Dr. Thaddeus Venture burst through the door to the throne room and marched up to the Monarch’s throne.  He was red in the face and shaking.  “I can’t believe you just hit me in the face with a bunch of men!”

The Monarch leaned forward on his throne, grinning evilly.  “I know!  You’re amazed by my plan, and now you’re here!  My plan was a success!”

“But… Brock just beat all those men to a pulp.  I came here to ask you what your problem is!”

“Nonsense!” the Monarch rose and gestured to Dr. Girlfriend to summon the super-secret elevator to take them down to the holding cells.  The dark-haired woman rolled her eyes and nodded, hitting a couple buttons and then a door opened in the wall beside the throne.  He grabbed the doctor by the arm and led him through the doorway. 

The door shut behind them and Dr. Venture pulled his arm free from the Monarch’s grip.  “This is ridiculous.  I just came here to tell you to stop bothering me; I have important work to get to!”

“The only important work you have to do is be my prisoner!” the Monarch rose onto the balls of his feet, trying to gain some height and appear more intimidating.  The doctor wasn’t impressed and only changed his expression from one of annoyance to surprise as the elevator lurched and then suddenly stopped.

“What the hell?” the Monarch screeched and nearly ripped the phone out of the emergency box beneath the control panel.

Dr. Venture stood off to the side watching as his enemy tried to command his henchmen to get them out of there.  Finally he threw up his hands, “This is just great, Monarch!  This could only get worse if the lights went off and we suddenly felt an undeniable lust for each other!”

Almost as if on cue, the lights went dark and sound of power shutting down could be heard from outside the elevator.

“Hello?  Henchmen?!” the Monarch called into the phone.  The sounds of him smacking a few buttons could be heard as he desperately tried to get someone on the line.

“Top-notch, Monarch, really.  What can we expect to happen next, hmm?  I don’t suppose you have any condoms stashed away somewhere in here.”

“Uh…” was the only reply. 

Dr. Venture raised his eyebrow to show he wasn’t amused, but the darkness nullified any effect it might have had.  “’Uh’ what?” he huffed, feeling more than a little bothered by the way the entire situation was playing out.  First he gets hit in the face with a bunch of men, now he was trapped in an elevator with the owner of said men and it was beginning to feel very… cold.  He wrapped his arms around his body, trying to keep warm, but the temperature seemed to keep dropping.  “Great, now the thermostat is acting up?”

“Quiet!” the Monarch cut him off as a hand reached through the darkness to cover his mouth.  Both men listened to the quiet for a moment before the doctor tried to complain again.

“Quiet, I said!” the Monarch cut him off again.  “I thought I heard something.  Something buzzing…”

“There had better not b-be a b-b-bee in here,” Venture chattered through his teeth.  “It’s so damn c-cold…”

“Bees can’t survive in this temperature…” the Monarch chattered and Venture could feel him move closer.  “Monarchs usually die in low temperatures like this t-too…”

“Good,” Venture said.  “Maybe then you’ll stop hitting me in the face with all your men!”

“I c-can’t believe I’m going to ask this, Venture,” the Monarch said after a long moment.

“Please, don’t ask.  I know what it will be and you’ll just be leading us down the plot path to gay sex, and I didn’t bring condoms with me.”

“But, I-I’ll die if you don’t help warm me, Venture!  D-do you want that, for your arch nemesis to die?!”

The doctor stroked his chin and made a sound like he was thinking.  “Well, it would make my life easier if I didn’t have to worry about you getting in my way.”

“Thwarting!  I was thwarting your plans!  I’m the thorn in your side, the bee in your bonnet, the monarch in your mayonnaise!”

“I hate mayonnaise.”

“H-hold me!”

“Oh, goddamnit!” Dr. Venture cursed as he felt two spindly arms wrap around him and felt the thin – yet oddly muscular – body of his nemesis pressing up against him.  He stood there for a moment before rolling his eyes and bringing his arms up to pull the other man close.  It was kinda nice and did help him feel warmer.  He dropped his chin to rest against the Monarch’s shoulder – what was that, LaCoste cologne? – he inhaled shakily and trailed his hand up the other man’s back.  “W-wait, no!” he suddenly pushed the other man away.  “This is just what they want us to do!  We get all cold and turn to each other for warmth, and then we magically get erections and have to screw each other!”

“What are you talking about?” the Monarch asked.  “Well, maybe screwing would be a good idea…”

“WHAT?!  Oh, please tell me you’re talking nonsense because of the cold or something, Monarch.  I’m not hearing this.”  He tried to ignore the erection that was forming at the idea of sex.

“M-monarchs die if they’re n-not-”

“You’re a MAN!” Venture spun and marched towards where he thought the other man was standing.  “A man in a monarch costume.  Underneath you’re a man, like me.”

“I’m still cold, Venture,” the evil villain said after a pause.  “And sex does create heat.”

“Great, just…” Venture rolled the thought over and over in his mind.  “Fine, but only this one time and only because we’re going to die in here if we don’t keep warm.”  He loosened his shirt and pressed himself against the Monarch, reclaiming the heat that sprang between them.  He felt his blood racing through his veins and he already felt a bit warmer.  He didn’t even voice his suspicions that this was the Monarch’s plan to get into his pants.  It could have been his plan the whole time to get him in there.  One of his henchmen could have easily lowered the heat to force them into this situation… not that he could do anything about it, though.  It was still cold and he was liking the idea of fucking the Monarch against the wall.

“Very well,” the Monarch nearly moaned as the doctor rubbed his chest through his costume.  “And since I have the condom, I’ll be doing the fucking.”

“What?!” Venture nearly choked.  The villain had caught him by surprise and he suddenly found himself pressed back against the elevator wall and some long, skillful fingers plucking at the fastenings to his pants.  “Y-you had a condom this whole time?”

“I never know when Dr. Girlfriend will want to go.  One must be prepared!” he puffed out his chest as he said this, though his fingers did not stop working on Venture’s pants until they had dropped to the floor.  “I see you’re ready on this end,” the Monarch hummed approvingly as he rubbed the flat of his palm along the erection that sprang free.

Dr. Venture grunted in surprise, he hadn’t expected his enemy to go straight for the gold like that, and it felt nicer than he’d expected.  He pressed his head back against the elevator wall and tried to steady his breathing while he fumbled with the front of the Monarch’s costume.  The frustration helped him ignore the delightful way he was being jerked off.  “How the hell do you get into this thing, is this all one piece or what?” he tugged at the costume, willing it to fall off.  The other man laughed into his ear and released his erection to tend to his own clothing.  “Like my plans to thwart your inventions, my pants remain a mystery!”

“Great, so you’re going to keep up the grandiose speeches throughout this whole thing, aren’t you?” the doctor kept the bored air to his voice, despite how turned on he was feeling.

“I had to say something; you’re the first person to have trouble getting at my little-caterpillar!”

Dr. Venture grabbed the Monarch by the collar and pulled him close, staring daggers at him in the darkness.  “First of all, I didn’t need to know its name.  Second of all, I don’t want to know who or what has been getting into your pants for whatever reason.  Thirdly… I don’t know, let’s just get on with this before I change my mind.”

The Monarch chuckled deeply in his throat and pressed their naked erections together.  The sensation made the doctor’s eyes shoot open and his hips press forward, giving the villain an opening to reach around to his ass.  “Y-you did that on purpose!” he squirmed, but couldn’t get away from the cold hands that pried his buttocks apart and were gently caressing the tight entrance between.

“Damn, you’re pretty tight, Venture!  We’re going to need some lubricant or something.  You don’t have any on you, do you?”  That question sent a surge of worry through the doctor, but he didn’t have a chance to reply before his nemesis spoke again.  “Nevermind!  Dr. Girlfriend always tapes lubricant packets to my condoms.”

“Oh God, just… stop talking!” Venture nearly screamed and reached between them to take hold of the redhead’s cock, trying to gain some control of the situation.  “I hope you know what you’re doing back there!” he added, feeling a little better when he was berating the other man.

He felt even better, to his chagrin, when a single, lubricated finger wormed its way against his asshole and gently rubbed its way inside.  He bit down on his lip and jerked hard on the Monarch’s erection.  The other man leaned into him and their mouths caught for the first time in an awkward, wet kiss.

They broke apart moments later, panting and gasping.  Venture had kicked his pant leg off and was raising his leg to try and unsuccessfully hook his thigh over the Monarch’s hip.  “S-shit…” the doctor breathed, he was feeling much warmer now.

“Mmmm, you’ve done this before!” the Monarch declared suddenly and stuffed a third finger past the doctor’s loosening entrance.

“And how would you know that?” the doctor asked, feeling his face heat up with embarrassment.  Geez, wear a buttplug for a few months and his asshole hadn’t been the same since.

“Guh, no reason!” the Monarch tried kissing him again to change the subject.  The other man let him and their tongues met once more while their pulses raced, bodies pressed tightly together and the heat between them rose.  They found that if they stopped thinking about what they were doing and just did it that it was far more enjoyable.

“Oh, yeah,” the doctor breathed, breaking apart and gripping the other man’s shoulders tightly.  “Are you… ready, I mean, do you need some help with the condom?”

“I’m fine, Venture.  I have plenty of experience putting condoms on in the dark.”  The crinkling of the package could be heard for a few long moments before the subtle cursing of the villain began.

“Here, let me do it and we can move a lot faster.”  The shorter man grabbed the square package and felt along the edges, finding the perforated edge and ripped one side off.  He threw the empty foil on the ground and tried to feel the condom for which way the rubber had been rolled up.  Confident in his choice, he pressed the tip to the Monarch’s penis and began to roll it down.

“You have experience putting condoms on other people in the dark, Venture?”

“Hey, no more questions, Monarch!” the doctor said, deciding to halt the bickering.  “Now let’s get this show started, or I’ll… oh!”  His voice cut off into a delighted noise as the Monarch pressed against him again and lifted him into the air.  His back pressed flat against the elevator wall and he easily hooked his legs over the villain’s waist.  He could feel the other man’s erection bobbing beneath him, twitching upward in a blind quest to find his asshole.  He twisted his hips and reached down, helping to guide his nemesis’ penis to his entrance.  It was the least he could do.

Then the Monarch arched up and moved inside, the tip of his erection pressing tightly against his asshole, squeezing in as the tight ring of muscle tried to resist, tried to keep it out.  Both men gasped in surprised pleasure as he finally slipped inside and Dr. Venture found he quite liked the feeling of the Monarch inside of him.  Liked?  No, he loved it.  Wanted more.  He wouldn’t say anything, though.  He couldn’t bring the words to his mind, he couldn’t compose something witty and dry to say to the other man.  His mind could only revel in the sensation of being filled and how hot the other man felt as he pushed forward, that delicious head reaching up inside him.  The walls of his insides were forced apart, softly sliding against the rubber-sheathed member and he tightened his grip around the Monarch’s neck and kissed him.  Kissed him in a mindless slop of lips and hoped it was good because he honestly couldn’t do anything else.

The Monarch grabbed Dr. Venture’s shoulders, bracing his bulk against the wall and trying very hard not to push in all at once.  It was hard, very hard.  Almost as hard as he was.  He broke the kiss the doctor was fucking up and instead pressed his mouth against the other man’s shoulder.  It was easier that way and he could focus on fucking, focus on the feeling of the doctor surrounding him.  “Damn,” he breathed and bit down to shut himself up.  He ignored the surprised squeak the doctor made and continued biting as he built up a rhythm that worked best for their position.

The doctor shuddered and tossed his head backwards against the wall.  He heard a loud crack, felt some pain as he realized he’d tossed too hard.  He felt the skin on his shoulder bruising under the Monarch’s teeth and his ass gripped at that delicious length that kept fucking deep inside him.  His penis bobbed between them, occasionally rubbed by their heaving pelvises, but largely ignored.  He decided to remedy that sad fact and released his grip on the Monarch’s neck to reach between them and grab his long, thin erection in his palm. 

The blood-filled appendage seemed to leap in recognition of his hand and the two limbs moved together, stroking and leaking pre-come along his fingers, making it easier to move in time to the way the Monarch was fucking him.  He sighed heavily and continued stroking, biting his tongue to keep from crying out and letting his eyes slip closed.

“Oh, yeah… damn, Thaddeus, I’m so close!” the Monarch jammed his hips up to prove his point.

“Well, wait for me!” the doctor whined and stroked harder, nearly punching the other man in the abdomen in his urgency.  He felt kinda close too, and if he moved, just a little to the left… he groaned loudly as the erection thrusting wildly inside him struck something that sent white light shooting behind his eyes.  He ground down and the Monarch hit his prostate again.  Now he understood what the big deal was as his orgasm rushed up on him and he bit his lip to keep from crying out.  His lip was a poor muffle and as his body convulsed against the elevator wall, he screamed out the first name on his mind.  “M-monarch!”

“Venture!” the super villain exclaimed and crushed his hips up, pulling the doctor’s hips down as he filled the condom with villainous spunk.

The two men stayed there for a moment before Dr. Venture moved to kiss his nemesis one last time.

“Ugh, don’t get all clingy, now!” the Monarch said after the kiss was broken and he pulled away, setting the other man down on the ground.

“Well, you did call me Thaddeus.  I thought since we were on a first-name basis…”

“That was in the moment of passion!  I couldn’t help myself!” he tried defending himself as he snapped the condom off with a squish.

“Yeah, well… don’t get used to saying it often, then, Monarch.”  He readjusted his clothes and zipped them up, starting to feel the cool chill of the air on his skin once again.  Oh crap.  “Damn, it’s still cold.”

“And they haven’t found us here, yet,” the other man added.  “Damnit, Dr. Girlfriend should have known the moment the elevator stopped!”

The lights suddenly flicked back to life and the two enemies could see each other once again.  They squinted in the sudden light just as the phone rang.  The Monarch answered the phone where Dr. Girlfriend was on the other line.  “Sorry boss,” she started in her low tenor.  “The weather knocked out most of the power on the ship.  The surveillance systems are down, climate control… the guys are taking a while getting to you, they’re trying to get the generators up to keep us from freezing to death.”  Her voice wavered, presumably from the cold.  “It might take a few more hours to get you out of there.”

“Oh, for the love of…” the Monarch slapped his forehead in frustration.  “What am I supposed to do until then?”

“I’m sorry, honey,” she continued, not sounding the least bit sorry.  “Just find a way to keep warm and we’ll get you out of there.”  The line clicked off and the emergency lighting flickered a bit.

“She told me to keep warm!” he turned to Dr. Venture, looking for some sympathy.

“Unless you have another condom, I can’t do anything for you,” he said flatly, rubbing his arms to fend off the chill in the air.

“Well… damnit, there are other things we could do!” the Monarch burst out, moving closer to the other man and taking him in a bear hug.

“Ugh, Monarch.  I don’t cuddle!” the doctor tried protesting, but not very convincingly.

“Who said anything about cuddling?” the other man said, his hand trailing down the doctor’s body.

+++

Back in the surveillance room, Dr. Girlfriend watched the two men on the video screen, smiling to herself as the enemies bickered as foreplay.  The control panels around her displayed optimal temperatures all over the secret base, except for the section of elevator shaft that had been shut down.  She sat back in her chair and steepled her fingers as she got ready for another hot, live porn show.  “Merry Christmas to me,” she said lowly.  That would teach the Monarch for skimping on her present this year.


End file.
